Nikki's Weight Loss Journey

This time things feel different

From a very early age, when I looked in the mirror all I saw was a short, pasty white, fat girl. As a child of a divorced family, at the age of six I found myself surrounded by two new families and I used to blame my fluffiness on the constant comparing between my three stepsisters and myself. Over the years, I allowed the five pounds I could have easily grown out of, turn into 80 pounds to lose. 

Now at the age of 30, I'm done playing victim and dwelling on the past. I've allowed that sob story to become the self-talk in my head and I'm over it! It's time for a new story. One that is empowering and worthy of telling over and over. 

It feels different this time because I've dealt with my own negativity and truly believe this time is for real. Perhaps it is age that allowed me to finally get to this point, either way I'm here and ready to kick butt!

Why it hasn't worked before

Over the years, I've gained and lost weight a hand full of times. Each time I gained the weight back, there were always friends that came along with them. I've tried a hand-full of diets: Weight Watchers, weight loss pills and starvation to name a few.
In the past I was able to lose weight simply by exercising more, but sadly, those days are over. I've realized watching what I eat is perhaps more important now, and for more than one reason.
Two years ago, my daughter was born. When I initially found out I was pregnant, the doctor said I couldn't gain any weight. (Imagine hearing that when pregnancy is the foodie's "Get Out of Jail" card.) By the time I checked in to give birth, I weighed just three pounds more than I started and at my postpartum check up, I was down 18 pounds! I loved the direction the scale was going but it didn't last long. I returned to a stressful job just four weeks later and almost instantly gained all the weight back. I was unhappy and not helping people in the capacity I knew I was capable of.

Why it is working now

A year and a half later, I finally realized the stressful job wasn't worth risking my health. I made a career change in September 2011 and instantly felt lighter. Not only is my new job far less stressful, my co-workers are much healthier people. Their tips and guidance have motivated me to be more authentic to myself. A month-long weight loss competition at work kick started my weight loss. After losing 10 pounds and winning the competition, I've realized that I can do it! While the lower number of the scale is nice, there is something that means a lot more to me. I've learned to trust myself again. No more empty promises of losing weight or doing this or that. I AM doing it!