Days 4-6

Day 4:

Weight: 201

I woke up at 4:30 am, went for a short 2 mile run. Came home, got ready for work. Worked, worked, worked and then I was off to soccer practice. I am the assistant soccer coach for 11-12 year old girls. Practice is 1 ½ hours long, so I considered that my work out considering I had to run/practice with the girls and go and fetch all of their balls. Oh the joys of coaching! Afterward, I went home, changed into my bathing suit, took my pre-made dinner with me and was off to my brother’s house to swim with my nieces and nephew. It was a lot of fun; however, temptation was lurking at every corner! First, it was fish tacos, then it was alcohol (alcohol and swimming is always a great combo!) and then it was the hot pizza they ordered! Not to worry my friends, I survived it! Well I did have 2 small pieces of the fish, but no tortillas so I’m good. Went home and was in bed by 9:30 pm. I’d say it was a successful Monday!

P.S. This post was pretty short and awfully boring so I figured I would bless all of you folks with a progression picture of me (yes I have magical powers, but shhh…don’t tell anyone)

Here is your blessing…

 My nephew Mauricio & I

I really like this comparison because you can see the time progression by looking at my nephew. The first picture was taken sometime in the beginning of 2009 and the second picture was taken in July of 2012. P.S. the pink shirt I was wearing was supposed to be loose! Haha! Gotta love my style ;-)

Day 5:

Weight: 199.8

Today was very uneventful as well. Woke up at 4:30 am, ran 3 miles, got ready for work. Went to work, got home, went to brewing. Brewing consisted of a whole lot of cleaning for me! I am in charge of Sanitation, which means I basically do all the bitch work that none of the men want to do. Oh the joys of being a female! Apparently cleaning is one of the skills we as women are inherently born with. Luckily for my brother, aka: bosser/master brewer, I am actually quite good at cleaning. Afterwards, I did laundry, did a short workout (arms & abs) and then packed my lunch and got ready for the next day.

So I figured I should tell you what I ate today, since this blog is about 2 fat to FIT (emphasis on fit) chicks, and I am one of those chicks. Lunch and dinner vary depending on what groceries I have bought for the week. Lunch usually consists of protein, veggies, and a carb and dinner is protein and veggies.

Breakfast:

-3 egg whites and a whole egg (scrambled)

-½ cup oatmeal with a tablespoon of honey and blueberries

Snack:

            -apple

            -Laura Scudder’s Natural peanut butter

                        *I would be lying if I said I measured how much I eat. I love the stuff! The end.

Lunch:

            -4 oz grilled chicken

            -black bean salad (½ cup)

            -spinach

            -peach

Snack:

            -carrots & celery

            -2 tablespoons of hummus

Dinner:

            -lemon pepper grilled tilapia

            -grilled veggies (bell peppers, mushrooms, onions)

Snack:

            -watermelon

*Note: I usually have a protein shake after my workouts.

Day 6:

Weight: 199.8

Today was basically the same as Monday,except I ran 7 miles after soccer practice. True story: I got home around 6:30 pm and I was starving so I made myself a turkey sandwich. I had to wait for my food to settle so I left for my run around 7:30 pm. It was already getting dark out so I decided to take my pink pepper spray for protection. Didn't you know that pepper spray is waaaaay more powerful if it's pink?!? Well now you do! Anywho...so I'm running and running and probably around mile 2 I notice that a cop car flies by me, then another, and another. Then I hear and see a helicopter flying over my head. I freak out, automatically thinking that they are looking for a serial killer who loves to prey on women who run at night with pink pepper spray! And of course I do what Crystal always does, I keep running in the direction that the cop cars headed in (yeah, I don't always have the smartest ideas, don't judge me!). So after another mile or so I see a few cop cars parked and I decide its time to turn back. Well I ran through the levy, which is super dark (no lights) and the entire time the chopper was flying over my head! There's nothing like a little fear and a chopper flying over head to make you run faster!

I mentioned in a previous post that I had a random story as to why I cut my hair. Here is the story with pictures included…

The last time I cut my hair was probably close to a year ago. I had not gone to get a cut for 2 reasons: 1^st: I wanted to let my hair grow long and 2^nd: I couldn’t find a good hair dresser. The last hair dresser I had was talented for sure, but she was a big gossip which is concerning because if she is talking to me about all of her other clients, I KNOW she is talking to them about me. Also, every time I went her prices went up and I was doing less things to my hair. I need someone reliable and who I can trust, hair is NO JOKE people! It’s what defines me. I like to think I am an undiscovered Pantene Pro-V hair model. Don’t laugh, I can feel your judgment from way over here! You haven’t felt my hair, its shiny and soft! The end!

Anywho…I kept looking at my hair and talking about how damaged it was and Evelyne (work wife) says, you have been complaining about your hair for months now, why don’t you go get a haircut already! And I said “you’re right, I should just let you cut it, this way I am forced to get a haircut.” Ok let me explain something to you folks; you should know that I am not a spontaneous person. I do not like surprises, I need a plan and I need to follow the plan, I follow the rules and don’t like to break the law (key words: don’t like to, doesn’t mean I haven’t occasionally done it, but I will tell you... when I have, I did not enjoy it!) So when What I’m saying is it's all talk, I don’t actually think she will cut my hair, I mean I wouldn’t do something like that! When Evelyne quickly and way to happily says “OK!” I think she is just trying to scare me, trying to call my bluff. So of course being the Crystal that I am, I will not back down, I will show no fear and I will wait for Evelyne to be too scared to cut my hair and then I will win and everything will be right in the world. WRONG!!! Evelyne, also known as “Evil-lyne” gets a pair of work scissors (my hair dresser later said that was the worst thing she could have done) and proceeds to cut my hair! As soon as I heard that awful sound I started to panic, but I couldn’t show Evelyne that because I didn’t want to freak her out half way through the cutting session. So she cuts and cuts and says she has done a great job. She was so wrong by the way! She didn’t cut straight and then I quickly put my hair in a pony tail. The next morning I tried to “fix it” by cutting some more and then I quickly made a call to schedule the quickest appointment!

Exhibit A:

The hair Evelyne cut

Exhibit B:

The final product: It’s shorter and darker.

What do you think?

-Crystal

Days 1-3

Day 1:

Today is the 1^st day of the Hard “Core” Challenge and I am pumped! For those of you who are asking yourselves why I started a challenge on a Friday when most folks start it on the usual Monday, this is because I am committed. I am not making any more excuses and quite frankly, I’m not afraid of the weekend. I will kick the weekend’s ass! Well not literally…because I have never gotten in a fight in my life and well, I don’t want to test myself now, but you know what I mean!

Yesterday was my last hurrah! And a hurrah it was indeed! I went to the Ventura County Fair and I ate my fill of fried foods! Corn dogs, ribbon fries, Indian bread, and my absolute favorite: fried ice cream! It was all very delicious and very painful (my stomach does not do well with fried foods). I watched Martina McBride, 

I am a country fanatic if you haven’t figured it out by now and I call myself a Mexican Redneck. Don’t judge people, don’t judge! Haha!

Onto the logistics…

Starting weight: 202

Starting measurements:

                Chest: 44.5

                Waist: 37.5

                Lower Abdomen: 45

                Hips: 45

                Right arm: 13.75

                Right Leg: 26.25

I would like to note that one week ago (before vacation) I weighed 193. I am not lying when I say I have a TALENT for gaining weight! I was on vacation for 4 days and the rest of the week I have been running every day. The runs have been 9 miles, 7 miles, 4 miles and 3 miles. I have also only had 3 cheat meals since vacation but that apparently doesn’t matter to my body! It loves the fat and the pounds and it will hold onto them for dear life! Oh well…what am I going to do about it? Just accept it and work that much harder!

GAME TIME!!!

Day 2:

Weight: 198.8

I survived day 2! I know, I know, you must be thinking, day 2?!?! What’s the big deal about that? You have a million other days to survive before the challenge is over! Which is true, you are correct my friends! However, I have yet to tell you what happened in day 2…

First, let’s congratulate Crystal on losing 3.2 lbs in one day! Yay!!! (Insert your cheers here). Second, I ran 13 miles today. And let me tell you, they were the hardest 13 miles of my life!!! I had aches and pains all over the place! If it wasn’t my knees, it was my thighs or my calves or my butt! It seemed to never stop! Also, I ran a new route today, one that consisted of tons of hills! And anyone who knows me knows that I hate hills. I will literally stop and walk the hills as I approach them because SCREW THAT NOISE! It’s already hard to just run, let alone up a hill when you’re out of breath and your legs are aching! BUT I know that it’s important for me to train with hills because when I run the marathon it will be in San Francisco (aka: Hill Capital of the World) and I must be ready for it! So folks, I am proud to say that I ran the entire time! I was hurting, it was hot and I wanted to quit and walk a lot of times but I didn’t. I kept telling myself that I needed to do it for myself, that I was strong enough to conquer it, and I did! Yay me!!!

After my long and excruciating, yet rewarding run, I went to get my hair done! It is now A LOT shorter and darker. Stay tuned for pictures and a funny and random story of how and why my hair is so short! Anywho…I received the best compliment today from my hair dresser/best friends girlfriend (who I haven’t talked to in a while). She told me how great I looked (yeah, yeah…I hear that all the time, because I do look extremely hot and amazing. Did I mention how modest I am!?! Haha! I kid, I kid). The compliment comes in when she told me that she was really happy that the weight loss hadn’t changed me, which I was still the same good person that I was before. She said she has seen a lot of people lose a lot of weight and that they are no longer the same person. They think they are too good for their old friends or look at others and judge their appearance and for those who are single, they write off men who are “too fat” for them. That compliment made me feel so good because it was a reassurance that I am still the same person. I mean I always believed that but I’m sure everyone who has changed for the worse believes that they have not, so it is nice to have some reassurance. I believe that the reason that I have been able to stay true to myself is because I have lost weight for the right reason, because I wanted to feel better and to live a long and healthy life. I didn’t do it because I was tired of being single for almost 4 years (3 at the time) and I thought that being skinny would give me better luck (this happens a lot by the way). And the other reason I’ve been able to stay grounded is because I’ve surrounded myself with family and friends who are both supportive and honest with me (even in times when I don’t want to hear it). So folks, there you have it! Skinny Crystal is still the same great and funny and good person that fat Crystal was. Oh and MODEST too! Let’s not forget MODEST! ;-)

Onto more exciting and light hearted talk! I went to baby shower today. It was super hot, so hot that it looked like I peed on myself after I got up from my chair. It was the sun and the damn plastic chair! I swear!!! I also survived the party without eating chips or cake! And the cake was chocolate! My FAV!!! Now I am at home getting ready to eat delicious fish ceviche (no tostadas) and I will be watching Private Practice all night! Happy Saturday folks!

Check out the beautiful sunrise this morning. How could I not keep running toward it?

Day 3:

Weight: 201

So I gained a pound, no biggie, I weighed myself after running 13 miles while I was probably super dehydrated. I still lost 1 pound in 3 days, I’ll take it.

Let’s talk about how much of a grandma I am. I like to be in bed by 8:30 pm, 9 pm at the latest. If I am not in bed by that time I become very anxious. My family loves to make fun of me because once the sun is setting I am constantly looking at the clock waiting for an appropriate and not so old lady time to go. In my defense, I wake up between 4 -4:30 am during the week to work out. I need my beauty sleep! If I don’t get it, you will be sure I will be wearing my sassy pants! And my poor work wife has to deal with me all day. Do you think I would qualify for the senior citizen discount at Ihop due to my old lady habits? It never hurts to ask right? ;-)

Today is Sunday and it is my only day to sleep in and of course I wake up at 6 am! I finished watching Season 5 of Private Practice, cried my eyes out the whole time. If you haven’t watched it you need to, it’s awesome! Then I worked out and walked to my parent’s house for some breakfast. Afterwards I walked home and went to the grocery store to buy my groceries for the week. I prepared most of my meals for the week and did not have any injuries. Have I told you folks how un-domestic I am? It’s bad! I will have to go over my wounds and my lack of cooking skills in a future blog post. Today I want to tell you about my lack of diaper changing skills. I know, you’re super excited to read about it! But first check out the meals I made!

Grilled chicken with quinoa salad, lemon pepper tilapia, grilled veggies & stuff bell peppers

After my cooking extravaganza my brother, sister-in law, and niece came over to swim. I also watched my goddaughter for the afternoon. She is two, adorable and a POOPER! Let me set the scene for you, Sophia (goddaughter, aka: Pooping Machine) was swimming in the Jacuzzi with my brother and I was out lounging and watching. My brother tells me that he thinks Sophia is pooping because she has a serious face on. I quickly get her out of the Jacuzzi before I get any unwelcome floaties in the water. Then I realize, Undomestic Crystal has never changed a swimmer diaper, now what do I do?!? So I lay her on the grass (I didn’t want a big mess all over the place) and I start to get my tools in order. Diaper bag check, pull-up (she’s being potty trained) check, wipes??? They didn’t leave me any wipes!!! So I’m freaking out, she’s laughing because apparently freaked out Undomestic Crystal is hilarious! I ask my sister-in-law to bring me toilet paper and my face wipes (yes you heard correctly, FACE WIPES) and I start to deal with the oh so gross mess! Reason #763 why Crystal does not want to have a baby! It was awful, let me tell you, I knew what she ate that day! GRRROOOOSSS! So I think I’m in the clear, no more water for Sophia. And a couple hours later… she pooped again! Just my lucky day! I changed her, thankful that it was a dry diaper, used some more toilet paper and another face wipe and then we counted and played with the blocks together.

All in all it was a great Sunday. Gotta love being reminded of how undomestic you are! Haha!

The POOPER & Me. Isn’t she adorable?

-Crystal

Summer: The Season of Health

Let's talk summer temptation for a second. Summer is a great time for barbecuing, going to the beach, camping or just hanging outdoors. Sounds really healthy, right? Maybe not the barbecuing but otherwise it does. Here is my beef. Summer is the worst time for weight gain. I know. I know. Most people might say the holiday season is the worst time for weight gain but hear me out.

In Southern California summer lasts for almost five months. The great weather comes around mid-May and doesn't leave until late September, and with the great weather the barbecues and vacationing begins.

While most people are outside enjoying the weather, going on runs or hikes, and swimming at the beach or pool, I normally hang out in the backyard barbecuing and getting fat. I'll soak up the sun and down a few beers or margaritas, shoot the shit and stuff myself.

The story isn't too different when it comes to camping. Once our camp is set up, the eating and drinking starts. Sure, the next day MAY consist of a little adventure but usually not much.

This summer has been different though. I'm turning it back into a season of health, one that allows longer daylight for being active outside and eating delicious summer fruit.

My husband, Alex, and I recently took our little one camping for the first time. I'll admit, having a kid makes you really reevaluate your health. (Not like I needed to tell any of you parents that.) Alex and I are both overweight and are adamant in changing it for our little girl. Needless to say, she is what I think of when I need a little extra kick.

I've always thought camping was fun but doing it the healthy way if far more fun than I thought. On day one, we set up camp and chased the local peacocks, which is fun but also scary. Those suckers will chase you back!

Day two was a doozy. Since it was a quick weekend trip, we packed all the adventure we could into one day.  In the morning, Presley and I gathered rocks around our campsite and painted them. Okay, she painted them and I supervised.

After a healthy breakfast of soy chorizo, eggs, and potatoes, my sister paid us a visit and guess what? We zip-lined! That's right, I did something adventurous. Now I am fully aware that zip-lining doesn't burn many calories but it sure is better than sitting in the campsite chomping on chips.

As we waited to put the equipment on, my fat girl senses kicked in and I got really nervous about being able to even fit into the harness. My sister is a small thing and next to her, I've always felt like a big translucent blob. I watched as she effortlessly slipped into the equipment and I immediately got jealous. (I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but I'm working on it. After almost 25 years, it's a hard habit to break.)

I was up next and you know what? I effortlessly slipped into the equipment too! Take that harness!

The fat girl senses didn't subside though. There was still one more thing to conquer, the actual zip-line. Fat girl questions raced through my mind. Is the line going to sag too close to the trees? Are people going to point and say, "Hey, look at that fat girl"? Will the line break?









As I stepped up to the platform, the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering. And then, before I knew it, I was off! Zooming down the line, I could feel my confidence bubbling over. I was soaring and it felt incredible! At the end of the line, I found myself overcome with laughter. I felt young and lighter than air. It's definitely something to try once in your life, at the very least.

For the first time in my life, I tried something new and wasn't completely humiliated by my weight. Talk about a step in the right direction. Not only that, I took back my season of health and found a new reason change my lifestyle. Summers won't ever look the same again.

-Nikki

Hard “Core” Challenge

This is it folks! It is time…

I have been saying for the last 2 ½ months that I am going to go “hard core” and I am going to finally lose the last 20 pounds that I need to reach the 100 lb mark. However, I have found many different reasons to postpone it; special occasions, vacations, summer and not wanting to miss out on anything. I have a HUGE family which means lots of birthday parties, quinceaneras, baptisms, baby showers, graduations, and many other reasons to get together and eat and drink. During these functions I am bombarded by friends and family pressuring me to be “Fun Crystal.” Lately I’ve been giving into the temptations and the peer pressure for two reasons: 1.) I don’t want to be the fun sucker and 2.) I don’t want to miss out on anything and feel deprived.

However, today I was thinking about it (in the shower of course, best thinking is always done in the shower) and I realized that what I am really depriving myself of is the pride that I will feel when I finally reach my 100 lb weight loss mark. I know that I can do it, there is no doubt in my mind, I just have to be more disciplined and ignore all of the comments and the “just break the diet this one time” remarks.  I will also have to ignore all of the “hater” remarks from my brothers, this is very difficult considering I have 4 of them, and all older than me and all smart asses with more jokes than you know what to do with. If you are not careful they WILL eat you alive and they WILL laugh at you afterwards. Not to mention the fact that I brew beer as a hobby. Do you know how difficult it is going to be for me to go to Tuesday Brewing and NOT drink and NOT eat the DELICIOUS food?!?!?! When I do this I will be crowned queen of all of the lands and all of the beer drinkers will have to bow down to me and say “Queen Crystal you rock! And you are very sexy might I add!” And then everything will be right in the world.

So how am I going to accomplish this Hard “Core” Challenge might you ask? Get it? Hard “Core” as in I want a bitchin’ six pack (aka: core) and I am going to go hard core and not mess up at all! I knew you would, but I was just checking ;-) Anywho… here is a list of do’s and don’ts for this challenge:

Do’s And Don’ts:

Do’s:

1.       Two workouts a day, six days a week (Friday is my rest day)

2.       Blogging everyday to keep accountable for my actions

3.       Weigh and measure before the challenge

4.       Keep track of my progress throughout the six weeks

Don’ts:

1.       No alcohol (so long home brews and bud light lime)

2.       No chocolate or sweets of any kind, especially dark chocolate and birthday cake!

3.       No white flour products

4.       No chips, especially pita (moment of silence for my pita chips…)

5.       No cheese

6.       Only black coffee sweetened with honey (farewell Starbucks)

*Note: I am only mentioning things that I currently eat or drink, I didn’t include old habits that I am finally rid of like drinking soda

SO WHAT DO I WIN?!?! I know that’s the big question on everyone’s mind (the whole 2 of you!). I have been thinking about it and I decided that if I accomplish my goal I will reward myself with a new wardrobe. Some of you might think this isn’t a big deal, and if you are my work wife Evelyne you are probably thinking how is spending $500 of your own money a reward?!?! This is the way I see it; I rarely make a big purchase for myself and if I ever do make a big purchase I feel guilty for it, like I should have been using the money to save for a house. Hence why this is my reward! I will not feel guilty for spending a large amount of money to help increase my confidence. Also, I have given away hundreds and hundreds of dollars, probably more than a thousand by now, of clothes that I no longer fit in. Everyone who hears me complain about this says, well at least you are losing weight. My answer: Well duh! Hence why I am giving them away! But who is giving me back my money?!?! All of my clothes were in good condition, even when I had a yard sale I sold them at 1/10 of the price. So you see why this is so important to me? Plus, ask me how many pairs of jeans I have: 2!!! And that’s because I  just bought a pair last week. I am in dire need of clothing but I hold off because I don’t want to spend more money on clothes that I am going to give away! So yes, I think this is an amazing reward! And I am going to work damn hard to get it!

This is it! I start my journey tomorrow! 6 weeks! Start date is August 10^th and end date is September 21^st. I will be writing daily to keep track of the high and low points of my journey. I am also training for a full marathon so that will be an interesting journey as well. Wish me luck folks! Send the positive vibes my way! And Evelyne (aka: my work wife) feel free to diet police me all that you want! ;-)

Until tomorrow…

P.S. I am still competing with Nikki so she should beware…I am my biggest cheerleader and my biggest enemy and right now there is nothing but cheerleaders on the sidelines!

-Crystal

Vacation: And The Fear That Comes With It...

I just came back from a much needed vacation. Four days of sun bathing, relaxing and forgetting all of my troubles. The problem with this much needed vacation is the fear that I had/have of getting on the scale. Before I get all dark and fretful let me first tell you how much fun I had...

I Call This Pose: Drama!

I had lots and lots of Mexican Margaritas (also known as Palomas). They are not actually margaritas, they are more of tequila, squirt and a squeeze of lime. Still equally as delicious! I also had lots of pomegranate tequila, for those of you have haven't tried it, it is a must! I drink it by itself with some ice. It is also known as the fertility juice,so watch out those of you Fertile Myrtles!!! As for me, because I know all of you folks are curious, I am not pregnant! Drank the Fertile Juice, but trust me, there is no possible way that I can be pregnant. Unless...the water in Mexico has even more powers than the Fertile Juice (gasp).

Me and Jorge the Bartender

As you might have guessed, with tequila comes lots of dancing and singing! Now that I think back on it I feel bad for the staff at the restaurant who had to endure my hours of singing. I mean, I think I sound amazing and  with tequila (or in the shower) I sound even more AMAZING! Well... I had fun and no one boo'd me or threw food at me, hence I will continue to believe that I have an angelic voice. As for my dancing...well...that doesn't get better EVER! I actually have a friend who recently discovered that I only have one dance move. It was a huge epiphany for him. He said "Crystal, you only have one dance move! Like only one move! It could be Spanish music, pop, country, Reggae and it's still the same move!" This is true, but just so you know it is an awesome move and it is very universal! Not to mention I have no rhythm and my move requires no movement of my feet! haha!

My aunt and I dancing (not my signature move by the way)

Finally, there was always a party in my mouth! You name it, I ate it! Mexican buffets are the best! Arroz con leche, home made tortillas, beans, chile verde, sweet bread! All of my favs! I also had so much lobster I didn't know what to do with myself! I had tacos and tortas and mexican candy! My taste buds were LIVIN' IT UP!!!

Eating Obleas!

Here's where the fear comes in... I had so much fun on my Mexican Getaway that I am afraid to get on the scale. I have been working hard and staying on track for the last 3 weeks and I was able to lose 8 pounds. I am afraid that I found those pounds in Mexico and that they didn't stay on that side of the border. I don't want to feel disappointed in myself when I look at the scale or feel like all of my hard work has gone to waste. So what I have decided to do is not get on the scale for a week. I went for a 9 mile walk/run, I was supposed to run 13 miles but I figured I would take it easy on my body and ease my way back into long distance running. I bought healthy groceries and I will be eating well this week. I'm hoping to not be too disappointed when I get on the scale at the end of the week.

What I realized as I was writing this post is that I can't beat myself up about things. I had a blast on vacation and I haven't had a relaxing and fun vacation like that in a long time. I deserve it! And I have all of the tools that I need to get back on track. I need to juggle my diet and exercise routine with my fun time. Sometimes I just need to let my hair down and do my "one and only dance!"

Reading and Tanning! My two favorite things!

-Crystal

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

For as long as I have been making New Year's resolutions, I've always made weight loss one of them. The first month or so I'm a workout goddess - waking up early to workout, watching what I eat and walking in the evening. However, it doesn't take long for temptation to wiggle its way back into my life and onto my plate. Shortly after any nugget of temptation works its way back in, the excuses come.

I'll work it off tomorrow. I don't have enough time. I'm tired. 

You name the excuse and I've probably used it at some time or another. How you decide to combat the excuses is something everyone must figure out for themselves. Even now with 20 pounds lost, I still find that I talk myself out of working out or make some sort of excuse for my behavior. If I'm going to be super honest, I've been giving Crystal excuses for writing a post for our blog.
The past two months, I've been slacking. It's so bad, I'm beyond making excuses. I've just accepted that I'm pigging out and sitting on the couch. Not cool, Nikki! Healthy has taken a backseat and I think I'm finally at the point of turning that around.
Behind the mocha frappuccinos and endless take out, I've been kicking myself for not doing anything. A recent weigh-in showed that I am still at a 20 pound lose but I stood on the scale almost challenging myself to eat more, just to see how much it would take to show on the scale. What kind of backward thinking is that?!
At this point I've figured that excuses just make me feel worse about myself. I know that telling myself I'm too tired to workout isn't the truth. The truth is I'm scared to see what it's like to be healthy and "skinny." I'm scared to admit that someone may not like me, regardless of being skinny. I've used my weight as a crutch and explanation for many misgivings in my life. Perhaps this is the greatest excuse I've told myself - "It's because I'm fat." 
Sorry to get all Oprah on you, but I do believe that unhealthy body image is a result of a deeper problem. I haven't quite figured out what mine is but I think I have a better grasp on my own feelings surrounding a healthy body image and that's the first step.
To say all excuses are gone would be to speak too soon but I'm not going to continue playing this game with myself.
- Nikki

Oh Motivation, Motivation, Wherefore Art Thou Motivation?

So I’m feeling a little Shakespearian today as I’m sure you can tell from the title of this post. Hey, I’m reaching here. I’m desperate to find the motivation and drive that I need to lose the last 20 pounds (used to be 15). So if Shakespeare will help I will use it!

I have been in a slump the last month. Before the “Month Slump” I had been working out twice a day, watching everything I ate, training for the half marathon and I was losing a lot of weight and creating a significant amount of muscle tone. When I completed the half marathon and the family competition I was in (came in 2^nd place) I felt that I should allow myself a week off to enjoy life a little. Well somehow that week turned into two weeks, which turned into three weeks and now four weeks. I have been saying that I am going to get back into it and then I find myself in front of delicious food or with all of my friends and family who are drinking and having a good time and I want to be a part of the fun too! I felt deprived if I didn’t engage and eat and drink the things that I wanted.

I should clarify that I have been indulging in the food and “beverages” that I like; however, I have still continued to work out 6 days a week. I am currently training for a full marathon. However, I have come to realize that I have a talent for gaining weight. Yes you heard me correctly, a TALENT. I can run 10 miles on Saturday and workout on Sunday and eat and drink bad one day and gain 6-7 pounds that weekend. That’s talent my friends! TTT-AAA-LLL-EEE-NNN-TTT. With that being said, I cannot allow myself to indulge so often because I will never get to my goal weight. I will constantly be working to lose the 5 lbs I gained on the weekend and will therefore always be stuck in the 190’s.

So here’s where the motivation comes in. This morning while I was showering (you should know that I do all of my best thinking in the shower) I started thinking about why I was not motivated like I used to be. And somewhere between lathering and rinsing it hit me. My mentality has been all wrong; I have been thinking that if I do not eat that piece of cake or have that glass of wine I will be depriving myself. When in reality I am depriving myself of feeling the satisfaction and pride that I long for when reaching the 100 pound mark. I am unhappy, sluggish and sulky in the 190’s and I am not doing anything about it. I have all of the tools I need to succeed and yet I just keep leaving them on the shelf. I have been focused on instant gratification instead of the more valuable and well worth prolonged gratification.

With that being said… Motivation is back! Today is the first day of my very strict and very dedicated lifestyle. I think short term goals are most beneficial because I can “check it off” so I will be committed to no junk food, strict eating pattern, and two workouts a day (minus Fridays, those are my days off) for 1 month. Whoever said you needed to start on Monday had clearly not found their motivation like I did. I know I can do this; it’s just a matter of strategizing!

Side note: I would like to thank good ol’ Shakespeare for the inspiration. I have found motivation; it was hiding underneath my bed ;-)

-Crystal Ocegueda